24. phil - Sick Sacraments
24. phil
Rose: I’ve always tried to do the best for my children. That’s where
the money went. We sent them to the best schools, they always had
nice clothes, food on the table. I think they turned out well. The
oldest is a police officer, another owns a used clothing store. There
is a professor of art and the youngest is a lesbian. Four altogether.
Tracy: Because of the political work I do, I went to San Ysidro to
attend a gun control convention. But a mass murderer stole the show
when he shot up a Burger Queen there.
Lee: The worst thing is not knowing. Everyday I live in fear of
being deported. I came here on tourist visa and now I want to stay.
The people are very nice and they try to help me. I bring cigarettes
from mexico to make money. I like to smoke but people don’t give me
cigarettes anymore. I want papers. I do not want to be alien anymore.
Susan: Maybe, I can help you. Do you know how to pray?
Bruce: Maybe you can heal me. I’ve been praying for years.
Phil: Hello to those of you who are just joining us. We have been
talking about charity. How far do we give? Give till it hurts? Let me
ask you, Serena.
Serena: I’m on everybody’s mailing list. I am on everybody’s
committee, from the American Cancer to the American Prophylactic.
I’ve been giving and it hurts. I might be famous, appearing nightly
in Viva Las Vegas but I am not made of money.
April: I did a lot of volunteer work for the church before the
reverend was put into jail. Since then I have been doing work for the
Revised Church of the Secret Learn and I have been saving for my
retirement.
Bruce: I’m positive and if it wasn’t for charity, I wouldn’t be alive
today.
Susan: You know, Phil, our founding fathers didn’t establish this
nation to be barbaric. What kind of stupid morons do those charity
executives think they’re fooling, bombarding us with ads to save the
flag, save an elm, save a river, save a smelt. You name it, you got
to save it.
Phil: Couldn’t you just scream?
Serena: I certainly could. How about, Save the Classics. Why do I
want to save classical art? It’s old and tired. I give to the local
arts. At least they’re alive and dangerous.
Rose: Boy, she’s sure got a wacky sense of humor.
Serena: Enjoy culture. Don’t make an enemy of it. But unfortunately,
it has been taken over and has become a commodity. Contemporary
culture is fleeting. It is attached to the moment, to what’s current.
Bruce: Before my illness, I wouldn’t of known art existed. Now I get
to go to concerts for free, don’t have to pay the fines on overdue
books at the library, and eat for free at art openings.
Phil: Do you know anything about these born again Opportunists?”
Bruce: They haven’t given me anything.
April: I certainly do. I was involved when I was young, stupid and
married. I thought they were the answer. I was bored and needed
something to believe in. It’s hard to believe in anything real when
you are born and raised in California.
Lee: I think it was one of them who bought a pack of cigarettes from
me and they took me to one of their churches.
Phil: I think they did a pretty good job on you. You sound like an
opportunist. Can someone give this man a cigarette?
April: I don’t smoke. He really is an alien.
Rose: I do not know any of these people. I want to avoid any form of
domestic violence, and burn their pamphlets in my gas fireplace.
Tracy: I think my bosses at work were in to it. Is that the religion
where you are locked in a room and have to scream out the person you
hate the most?
Serena: Separation of church and art is my principle. If I had gotten
mixed up with one of those spun out churches, I never would have
gotten a show on The Strip.
Phil: Let’s supposed you’re stuck in bad air and you need shelter,
otherwise you’ll threaten to commit violent acts. What do you do?
Rose: When I am in this state, I open the front door and casually re-
enter the comfort of my air-conditioned home, with the babble from my
entertainment center and the purr of my refrigerator to help me calm
down.
Bruce: I am inside most of the time anyway, except when I go out and
eat free food or go to a free concert. I am on so much medication
that nothing and everything could affect me. Otherwise, I’m in no
condition to get violent.
Serena: I jet off to someplace where it’s clean, but it’s getting
harder nowadays to find paradise.
Phil: Is it time to skim off what is left? Is there such a thing as
Disneyland forever? Do you masturbate, Lee?
Lee: Why do you want to know this? Is it because I am alien? I do not
spy. I just sell cigarettes. I see you with a wig on your head, why?
Phil: It’s not a wig. It’s fortified hair. It’s part of the business.
No one wants to look at a balding talk show host.
Bruce: I beat off once a day. On top of everything else wrong with
me, I don’t want to develop prostrate cancer.
Phil: But most of you haven’t stopped giving. What are your
prerequisites? Who gets and who doesn’t?
April: I look at it this way. There is some truth in the scriptures
and that’s what’s kept me going. All those wonderful examples of
people trudging on, rising from the dead to overcome challenges.
Rose: I feel like it’s my turn to be on the receiving end. I am old
enough. But when my children come home, the first thing they want is
a home-cooked meal. Charity never stops.
Tracy: I don’t qualify for any benefits. Maybe I should get sick or
have a dozen kids so I can take advantage somehow. I feel like I’m
the one being milked, my udders are raw.
Serena: It’s hard to say. I’ve stopped giving money in this country.
My money goes a lot further elsewhere. There, I can feed a village
for a month compared to here where I’d just be paying for the
medication for one person for one day.
Phil: Is it a nightmare scenario? The givers and the takers. Have we
lit the fuse? Let’s hear what you think? Give us a call at the number
on the bottom of your screen. Don’t go away. We’ll be right back.
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